He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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