i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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