we're blogging at a bar
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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