sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
