What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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