youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
there was a trapeze. enough said
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The feeling are messing with the penis
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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