I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
