Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
