There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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