fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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