You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
