Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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