sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
