I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
