I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
