Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
