She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
