Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
