can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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