it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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