DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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