Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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