Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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