We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
