you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
