Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
