I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
