Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
