I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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