Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
