Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
