this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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