careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
