My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Holy shit dude........stairs
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