he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
