what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
