Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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