we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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