so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
