You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
