umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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