i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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