I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
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How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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