I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
now i know why i became what i already was.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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