did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
