This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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