u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
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