found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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