2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
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At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
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Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
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