Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
