i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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