I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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