Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
