i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Pants are for mortals
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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