I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
