That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The Olympian is in my bed
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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