He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
