You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
