Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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