I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's shark week go big or go home
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
