Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
