that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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