BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
