but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I enjoy the company of your penis
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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