the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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