Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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