Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
