Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
