Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize